so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
