I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
