Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
