someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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