6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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