pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sext me about skeletons
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize