Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
