am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
