I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
