Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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