these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
my poor anus
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
