Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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