Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
