I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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