Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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