if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
