that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize