I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
