maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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