well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Shame - the story of my life.
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