dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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