You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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