He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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