I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You're like the curious george of whores
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize