week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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