All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
