I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
What drink are we having for lunch?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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