do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize