I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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