How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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