OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
