addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
