Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
