Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
love makes seman taste better
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
