I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
