So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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