Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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