After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
