My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
