fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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