youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
