do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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