i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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