just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
