People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
