if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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