so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
