I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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