he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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