We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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