we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
