my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
