Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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