There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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