You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
