There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
