it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
This house was built for laser tag.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
