butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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