Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
