: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
