Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
